been awhile... things happened.. especially sad ones.. frustrating ones... ever wondered y my sis is going through all those crap.. it's because she's the one lying and i dun have the courage to confront her.. and i think it's better off not to burst the balloon.... so kinda taking all the truth to myself... hard to accept i think and so dun wanna talk to her anymore...
skipped school today.. meaning i had actually consecutive 2 days break already and tmr is a FRI!!! TIME PASSED SO FAST THAT I REALLY THINK I"M A CRAP AND USELESS FAT FCUK!
argh! things are affecting me too greatly.. seriously... zzzzz... don't understand what the fuck is happening to my mind and i'm growing fat again! FK! i can't wait anymore to go swim, dance, cycle and have my fking life with all my fun frens!
sadly to say, ALL my FUN FRENS ARE ALL NOT HERE!!! ARGH!
cam just also broken up with that 2 weeks bf.. zzz and she's so not gonna tell me details.. =.= i seriously think me and her... kinda not like frens nor sisters anymore! like hello!! why isit that i am the one trying to maintain our friendship?! can't u make the move? i'm tired making all those move! gosh!
sis dun heed advise and is playing a bitch.. bro another idiot fk that i think he's so gonna fail his fking ass easy exam... dad who dun get the point of finding the correct fault to throw his anger at! and mum so emotional till omg!!!!.. i think she can like throw and break every little thing she comes into!..
KNNCCB LJ!
i'm so gonna be a crude person that says all these hokkien language!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK!
Your smile makes everything seem perfect to me.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
oh yea..
end of 2nd week of school.. and loads of thing i think might me lining up hahaha.. tmr a zara trip with shu yi.. sat not confirmed yet and sunday work day!! $$$ xD
okay.. anyway saved like i think got 10 or 20 bucks already haven bank in and going to save another 50 from my pay.. wanted more but i'm afraid not enough to spend during the coming month.. as in this month though.. :)
up coming pay gonna get alot i guess double or triple? TEE HEE!! xD
savings savings saving!! very soon i'll saved enough for a trip to perth!! counted that i might just need ard 2k? 1k for flight another 1 k just in case for shopping and unnecessary stuffs lols.. it'll be my 2nd time on an airplane then!! ^^v
SUPER EXCITED ABT IT.. told shu yi abt this plan she's excited too.. but not sure if she'll really join but anyway she also need a get away soon.. her work driving her crazy!! though she got a pay rise!! xD
CONGRATS!! ^^
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since now he's over another girl and he's not in a mood to talk.. i think i should just do wadever i need to do and not care anymore.. since he knows that i'm always there to talk.. ^^
RMB me okay!!! :x
Your smile makes everything seem perfect to me.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
OH CRAP!
i can't believe i'm working at night at a before school day.. -_- i doubt i'll be able to wake up for school but yea.. shall get sis to give me morning call! :D
anyway.. got a crazy dream yesterday.. real crazy.. lols.. roughly rmbered that i went on a shopping spree with sis then kinda we dun wanna go home and ended up at some old or cheap airport the next moment and we actually like swipped her card and got like 2 air tix to IRENE place!! omg!! i was like so excited, in the dream, i called irene that i'm coming over now!! and she'll be waiting at the airport for us!
just then i rmbed that i do not have any spare clothes with me!! and i was kinda telling my sis that we should go home pack, hack care our parents take the clothes and leave!! but she actually suggested that we shall just stay at the air port and wait for the departure.. and as the time grew nearer i begged to go home to pack.. and weird enough.. 2 guys drove me home!!! didn get their faces nor name.. but someone i know definitely.. hmm.. anyway.. by teh time i reach home to pack i had onli like 20 mins to pack!! and omg i knew that i'm a slow turtle i told them shit! i think i gonna missed the flight!! and would waste $$.. another thing is also that.. weird enough my house that i stayed in changed..... LOLS!!
it's like my grandpa hse but much more modern and nice.. and weird enough too, my house is having a PARTY!!! omg!!!... coming up is even OMG!!!
as i was packing my movement kinda slowed... like turing in to like old grandma movement... O.o and kinda i look at the time!! I AM GOING TO MISS THE FLIGHT!! and ppl is waiting for me at the car!!!!! i wanted to call sis and said i dun wanna go or rather to say i was like pondering if i should step out of MY ROOM!!!!!!!! >.< and the whole dream turns like.. blury.. :( and can't rmb wad i had after that..
GOSH!!!!!! wad the hack was those!!!!!! >.< _______________________________________
i missed his call today.. :( smsed him and no reply! :'(
sobs..
Your smile makes everything seem perfect to me.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
I DO NOT CRY! on occasions when my hamster died, when i fell down and had a really deep cut, when my grandpa died except for the last day..
i onli cry when relationship between friends, family and yes maybe bf, is actually broken..
it's the feeling of ur heart being thorn apart that actually hurts so deeply that for no reason tears just start dripping down ur cheeks, nose gets stuck, vision gets blurred and eventually face get swollen... it makes me always just wanna die at that instant... seriously... just either run or just die immediately..
and apparently again, no one knew wad had happen neither there's anyone i could talk to cus they won't get wad's wrong with me in the end and ended up talking to me abt them, their probs and their life..
am i that insignificant?! i always ask...... ___________________________________________
lastly...
I just KNEW IT! that he likes some one that came into his life.. but i think i should not ask much.. cus that would make me more insignificant in him... at least now i can be his play mate.. even just for a moment, i felt happy...
am i always not liked by ppl?? esp infront of guys... just because i'm......... fat....
Your smile makes everything seem perfect to me.
Friday, October 2, 2009
damn... it's a week already since i talk to 'u know who'.. quite missed his voice.. :((
oh well.. anyway i'm not needed... =x
need to save money for aussie trip! and i really need to make it this time!! told irene like dunno how many years le!! >.< but didn manage to go.. haiz... so yes!! this time round i need to make the trip!! there fore need a savings plan!! xD